Pregnancy is hard.
I know every pregnancy has its challenge, and ever woman experiences pregnancy differently. I'm certainly not here to point out why my pregnancy has been difficult.
Don't get me wrong.
It has been worth it, and I know even more than I can comprehend, it will be even more worth it.
But it has been hard.
It's hard to be sick from morning until night, every day for 22 weeks
It's hard to wake up before the sun for work, when I can't find the energy to even get out of bed
It's hard to be okay with gaining weight
It's hard to accept that my body isn't just my own right now
It's hard to know my decisions about my body affect the baby girl inside me
It's hard to make the right decisions about eating and exercising
It's hard not to be overcome with guilt when I don't eat healthy and exercise
It's hard to physically exert myself at work every day
It's hard to be so tired that my body physically aches
It's hard to have a head that is pounding so hard that I can't even open my eyes
It's hard to wake up every hour all night, be because my back hurts, my bladder hurts, or my heart hurts
It's hard to lose control of your emotions
It's hard to cry and cry due to stress and the overwhelming feeling that this tiny life is so dependent on me
It's hard to be so overwhelmed with anxiety about motherhood
It's hard to make so many decisions about things I am so completely clueless about
It's hard knowing that it's going to continue to get harder, every day, for the rest of my life
The list is honestly never ending.
I have never been so full of joy, yet so full of anxiety and pure terror in my entire life.
I am so scared to be a mother.
I have never shed so many tears late at night.
But at the same time, I have never wanted time to go faster.
I have never been more excited for the next step.
The whirlwind of emotions is absolutely exhausting.
But I have the best companion by my side.
He dries my tears, every Sunday night during my break down.
He rubs my sore back.
He makes the hard decisions seem easier.
He carries my bags.
He cleans the house.
He hugs me, just because.
He fills my waterbottle.
He is always there when I need him.
And he always makes the bad days better.
Pregnancy is hard.
But it has been the absolute best thing for my marriage, and although I didn't think it was possible, I love my husband more and more, every single minute of every day.
There is no one I would rather spend forever with.